i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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