That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
