My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
