I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
