I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
