I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
