spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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