I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Operation Purity has been aborted
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to make out with him forever
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
