Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
