For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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