Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All the doctor said was why
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
