Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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