STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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