when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
