DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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