just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
