There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
