So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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