Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
