Whod you bang
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
