A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
