apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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