I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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