ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
