never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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