I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
