no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
