my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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