She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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