Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
