It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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