I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
