All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
