Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
