you traded sex for a burrito?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
