She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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