Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
