the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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