I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
