you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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