Well apparently he's into motor boating.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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