dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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