Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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