youre lurking in front of me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
