the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
