do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
