okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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