listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
