piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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