Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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