my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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