Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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