I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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