Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it penis luge time yet?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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