After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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