this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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